Reporting back …
It’s critical that we tell our stories.
If we remain silent, others who think they know our lives, will tell our stories for us.
Telling our stories will bust adoption myths and extinguish the gas lighting.
There are as many adoption stories as there are people impacted by adoption. Yet there are common themes that run like rivers across the adoption landscape. Themes that unite, nurture, obstruct, challenge and transform us. Themes that silence and distort our truths.
We must report back to those who made and make the laws, devised and devise the policies, delivered and deliver the practice, guarded and guard the files, protected and protect the practitioners, wrote and write the narrative, and to those who continue to dismiss our truths if they do not match their own assumptions.
Here is a space for us to tell our stories.
Please send your contributions to adoption@xtra.co.nz
Note: Contributors’ names are only published with their permission. We ask that people’s Reporting Back contributions are not reproduced without the specific contributor’s permission.
Reporting back on mothers’ experiences of the closed adoption era, is the documentary theatre show, 'I Carried This', documenting and illuminating adoption experiences of New Zealand women in the 1950s-60s.
I Carried This opens on 5 June 2024 in Wellington’s Hannah Playhouse. Read more about it and where to get your tickets, here.
Lynelle was asked by OT to give her thoughts on who is best situated to support the community (adopted people) and from what angle …” Lynelle responds ……”the more you (OT) build in lived experience expertise the better your supports will actually support the community that its being designed for [and] …try to move away from relying on adopted-parent-led organisations, especially as your adopted population gets older …We (adopted people) are more than skilled and have the wisdom to know what we need, how we need it …. It’s really important that you (OT) tap into the wise knowledge and expertise that sits within the adopted people community… ” Lynelle challenges the OT staff to consider if intercountry adoption should continue.
If you’ve not got time to listen to the whole presentation, listen to Lynelle’s closing from 1:25:00.
‘Adoption left us vulnerable and untethered in a society that expected us to be grateful for the process that made us so.’
Anne Else A good adoption: Telling an inside story
Anne Else is a New Zealand writer, researcher and adopted person.
Kim’s story - 2017
I was adopted during my first year by relatives….
Teresa’s story - October 2022
In this BBC interview Teresa tells of discovering she is the result of incest, of how she carried shame for decades, yet finally rose above those negative feelings.
Tamara’s story – August 2018
This is the story of Adoption. Or specifically in my case, a step-parent adoption …
Lily’s story - 2022
This is the experience of a stranger adoption.